Aug. 15th, 2011 11:53 pm
switchkitty78: (collar)

I am so glad I'm not the only one with this problem!
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
Kitty has a new job, and has been super busy lately. Still here though, just too out of it to post salacious things about my sex life.

I will use this entry to pimp Bon Appetit Burlesque though. I've attended two of their shows now, including the Fetish show last night and they have been so much sexy fun. Also reawakening my need to belly dance something fierce. I need to get back into that so hard.

I also need to post an extended ramble/rant/stream of consciousness about redefining my own sense of sexy as it pertains to myself. With the rather drastic change in my body and some recent events, my residual self image is being called into question and also a bit of random weirdness that has gotten me into trouble before that has re-reared its ugly head, so I'm gonna have to examine that at some point. Also as well as a desire to be photographed, I'm feeling the itch to take pictures again. Sexy pictures. but more on that later...

So yeah. Still around. Just insane.
switchkitty78: (Default)
A friend who reads this journal questioned me a little while back on the less savory bits of my sexuality, since "your journal tends to be a little vanilla these days..." (Sheesh! can't please 'em all, lol.) I said I'd make a post about it and then promptly forgot about it, owing to some Real Life Shit. Something [ profile] daddys_kitten_ posted a bit back brought the question back to mind and got me thinking. What do I like that I don't talk about or practice? Even better, what am I uncomfortable admitting I like?

Always tough questions to answer. But I like a challenge.

We'll start easy. I think we all know I tend to like more than a little violence/pain in my sex most of the time. Grabbing, growling, biting, scratching, okay yeah all of it is good. People tend to be a little surprised when I respond favorably to it being amped up a notch or two. Hands around my neck tends to get to me in a good way. My one experience/memory of knifeplay still does bad things to the state of my drawers. And then there was the time when the person I was play-fighting with not only (accidentally) cracked me across the face hard enough to split my lip but after the oh-shit-are-you-okay shock passed, kissed me afterward, bloody lip and all.

I don't think anyone would be that surprised to know I like, for lack of a better term, "consensual non-consensual" play as well. That one's always more than a little risky because the aftercare afterward has to be very very good - essentially "sure, you can break me, but you damn well better be ready to sit there for as long as it takes to put me back together afterward" and that's not something I've gotten consistently. Some people I've played with in that way have been excellent about it, most have been... spotty? in that department, which sucks because while the scenes themselves were intense as hell and... it seems somehow wrong to describe essentially a rape scene as "good," but there you go, having to deal with the aftermath of one all by yourself is not at all fun. Especially when you actually do have a past history of sexual abuse. If you're going to wake up Chthulu from the depths of my subconscious, you'd better be damn willing to help me put him back to sleep!

"So... you're a masochist?" Oddly enough I don't consider myself one. I don't actually like pain itself, I like what comes after it. The endorphin rush, the relief that comes with tears, the kisses that soothe a particularly nasty bite, or cane welt, or whatever's hurt me, the increased sensitivity of sore flesh. I like how whenever I've let someone hurt me, they tend to be more careful and attentive of me afterward. I also... don't exactly like, but notice that my head tends to open up more after going through something intense - I'm usually some level of emotionally bottled up, and much like being drunk, post-intense experience is one of the few times the walls come down and I can let myself be vulnerable, or weak, or needy or any number of things that I normally wouldn't allow myself to be.

My unwillingness to call myself a masochist might also have something to do with the fact that I enjoy inflicting pain waaaaaaaaay more than I'm comfortable either admitting or really dealing with. It's not necessarily that I think it's a bad or wrong thing, but it scares me because I can very easily see myself crossing lines or really hurting someone in the not even remotely fun/consensual way, and so it's an aspect I tend to shut down entirely for everyone's safety unless I absolutely trust that my partner knows their own hard limits and will tell me when to stop, and even then, even if they offer and I know they can take it, I'm too freaked out that I'm going to cause actual injury to really let my inner sadist off the chain entirely. Oddly enough, the times I've come the closest, where I've really laid into someone willing to take me on and after the physical stuff had been attended to, I've been the one that's needed emotional aftercare, since it's hard for me to confront my handiwork - bruising of the nasty variety, broken skin, or the one time I left a clear impression of my teeth in someone's shoulder - and not feel like something of a monster, especially when recalling how much I enjoyed both making that happen and watching the other person endure/enjoy it. This is why pain sluts both turn me on and terrify me.

Kittyboy just came downstairs while I was typing this up, inquired as to what I was writing, and when I managed to stammer my way through an explanation (it's hard enough writing about this stuff, let alone talking about it) he was all "oh that's not that bad." I suppose that's reasonably comforting? IDK.

But off the pain kick. Other things I like, in more of a list format:

  • Well done drag, either gender. I love ladyboys and henchgirls. If you're a guy and are perfectly comfortable in fishnets, garterbelt and five inch spike heels? I probably want to hump your leg. Same goes for girls in tuxes, ties or uniform.

  • Tickling

  • Voyeurism/exhibitionism. I love to watch. Not quite as much as being watched though.

  • Fisting. But you knew that already.

Who knows, maybe sometime down the line I'll get around to why I like those too.
switchkitty78: (Default)
Things what are needed:
  • Slippery stuff. I swear by that lube and we're finally out of it. That huge ass bottle I had lasted me three years though, no complaints here.
  • A new Wahl Coil. It's been a year since the old one bit the dust/nearly burned the house down. I miss it.
  • either nitrile or latex gloves. If nitrile, in some kind of fun color, like purple or black.
  • condoms. Nothing fancy (I think I'm the only person on earth that likes durex unlubricated) but one does need to keep the toys clean. :)

Things what are desired:
  • Lube shooters. I'd like to see if they help with that whole problem with anal when there's way too much lube on the outside and not enough inside (yeeeowch).
  • The Celebrator. I've heard way too many ecstatic reviews of this thing ("YOU WILL CUM SO HARD YOU WILL CRY" is the main one) and only one "eh" one, so naturally I'm VERY curious about it.
  • A Wartenberg pinwheel
  • A cowhide flogger
  • a blindfold that won't swell Kittyboy's eye's shut (he had a nasty allergic reaction to the one we've got)
  • drip candles
  • Ostrich feathers. Not just for their tickly properties, but also because I need them on occasion to festoon my pirate captain hat.

I think that's about it. Now to find a regular paying gig so I can actually afford all this sturf.


Jul. 21st, 2011 09:40 am
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
I have to share "Gay, Bejeweled, Nazi Bikers of Gor" because OMG wow. Cannot stop giggling.

I've been quiet lately, and frustrated because while things of sexy note have happened, I can't talk about them on pain of wrathful death. *le pout*

Oh my

Jul. 4th, 2011 12:31 pm
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
Well, I would certainly say that Kittyboy and I certainly had a memorable 4th of July so far... *evil grin*
switchkitty78: (Default)
I've been going through some rather, hmm. Drastic? body changes lately. If you follow my Normal!Journal you're probably familiar with what I affectionately call my Wasting Butt Disease, where if it flares badly enough eating anything at all becomes excruciatingly uncomfortable. So as a result I haven't been eating much lately, and when one doesn't eat very much, one tends to start shedding weight. Which I have, to the tune of about 40 pounds in the last six months. It is a profoundly weird thing for me, being much smaller than my residual self image (I was always most comfortable somewhere around 205 pounds; at last check I had just dipped below 170).

Rapid weight loss has it's own weird set of consequences. Loose skin, for one. There are places below my arms and thighs that make me kind of cry. And my tits just look... deflated right now. I hate it.

Course Manbeast would think I was hot shit at any size so I know what he thinks isn't a factor. But it's weird, as I've gotten smaller and smaller I've just felt less and less sexy, especially with my clothes off. So clearly my first thought is hey, why don't I have some pictures taken of me naked?

No seriously. I feel like posing for someone. Hey you, Mr Photographer, your challenge is twofold. a) Make me look thunderfuck sexy b) Make me look thunderfuck sexy and then have me actually like the picture. Which is probably the greater challenge.

It probably won't happen, but it's a thought.
switchkitty78: (ravished)
I do love the nights where above and beyond the fun I usually have fucking Kittyboy there's that extra undercurrent of something that doesn't have a name, but somehow shoves the entire experience from something fun and physical to something more transcendant, cheesy as that sounds. Where it becomes less about whats going on with tab A and slot B and more about how his eyes go deep and strange and glassy and fiercely beautiful when he wants me, about how suddenly I'm more than half convinced that if I don't have some part of his skin or his hair in my hands at all times it will cause me physical pain, about how my whole body wants him and expresses that by hardening, softening or going suddenly from warm and soft to hot and slippery, how all I want to do is kiss him until I can't breathe and listen for the sounds that make it past years of self-control, a sigh here, a word there, and occasionally the low feral growl that boils out of his throat and turns my entire existence to water. Its about teasing him with my mouth until every flutter of my tongue causes his cock to throb in response, how warm his hands are on my shoulders, my tits, or half buried deep in my cunt, that biting frustration every time I brush his throat with my lips, wanting with all of my being to mark him as mine for the world to see but forcing myself to be good because he has to work in the morning, feeling him lace his fingers through mine as he slides deep into my ass, both of us marvelling at how ready for him I am, how much I want him there. It's about pressing my cheek to his and moaning encouragement as he grinds himself into me hard enough to leave me spent and shuddering beneath him, pleading with him not to stop until I hear his breath catch and the deep throb of his own orgasm deep inside of me, and the feathery brush of his hair as he collapses across my back, holding me like he'd rather eat glass than let me go.

I hate the term "making love," but some nights it's appropriate. Last night was certainly one of them.
switchkitty78: (Milady's marque)
I tied up and blindfolded Kittyboy last night, mostly because I've been getting crabby lately about not doing anything remotely kinky for a while and finally figured out that instead of whining about it I should just do something about it. As an additional challenge I decided ahead of time that it was going to be entirely soft sensation play, which is sort of unexplored territory for me - I'm generally a tie up and beat silly sort. But yeah I spent the night before thinking up things around the house that I could use for this sort of thing. And quite possibly cackling maniacally. Cause I do that sometimes. Hey when you can do a spot on impression of Margaret Hamilton's Wicked Witch of the West, you have to occasionally use it.

But I digress. Another motivation for this was in truth I'd gotten a little hazy on where Kittyboy's sensitive spots were and had a couple of incidents where I'd go for the edges of his ears (which used to be a big one) and have him recoil rather violently in response, which... that sort of thing makes me want to dive under a bed and hide for a week when it happens, not to mention never ever go near the area I'd touched to get that reaction again. So yeah. Something of a fact finding mission behind this as well.

The scene itself was good. I gave him a choice of being tied down face up or down (he picked up), blindfolded him, and then fetched the roll's worth of the brightest shiniest pennies I had out of the freezer and placed then down his torso and the upper bits of his arms and legs, with the admonisment to keep still so they didn't fall off. That last proved mostly unnecessary as once they warmed up to body temperature they had a tendency to stick a little to his skin. There were a few on his legs and groin that slid off due to squirming; I suppose at some later point punishing for that is possilble. After I got the coins down it was mostly just softly trailing various things of the pointy, scratchy or soft varieties over his skin and seeing what sort of reaction I got. What got the biggest reaction out of him was me slipping on an elbow length satin glove and tracing his face, neck and shoulders with my fingers, which kind of surprised me. As for the rest I think I have a pretty good handle on what ticklish spots stay ticklish and which get, um, less ticklish depending on what else is going on/how relaxed he is. And other than burning my thumb threatening to actually light the six tea lights I'd placed on him (I wasn't gonna but the temptation was FIERCE), nobody got hurt, intentionally or otherwise. I ended with untying his feet, sweeping the remaining pennies away, pulling off the blindfold and treating him to some nice slow head before climbing on top and fucking him. I can never leave his hands tied down for too long doing that - I like them on me too much while he's inside - but it's fun for a few minutes knowing he wants to touch me and can't.

I guess the only bad/weird thing about the whole evening was that I dropped HARD afterward: It's not the worst post-scene crash I've ever had (that would involve sobbing hysterically) but this definitely ended with a massive yen for ice cream and an need for being hugged and cuddled nigh unto clinginess, which I hate. Gonna have to make sure I have orange juice on hand or something next time. And next time needs to happen a little sooner than six months from now.
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
What on earth could Kitty be doing with 2 plastic forks, a pair of satin opera gloves, a kebob skewer, a short metal ruler, and most importantly, fifty shiny pennies? I wonder. I wonder.

Answer tomorrow, if all goes well. >:)
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
Just discovered Garden Hose. Am reading the archives and snarfing with hilarity. Y'all kinky people should really be reading this.
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
1) Oh boy, it's hot and sweaty season. :/ Summertime is not Kitty's best season by any measure (Fall is) but there are some nice things about summer that I do appreciate - ladies wearing spaghetti straps and short things being up there. Also swimming pools, if they ever get the one in my complex going. Though I will admit I will miss the frogs that have taken up residence in the tarp covering it - they've been having loud croaky frog sex during the night this week, and it amuses me.

Warm weather also means I get to wear skirts. Mmm breezy. Also I'm amused that when I do wear one Kittyboy always checks to see if I'm wearing knickers* under it, and he knows what it means when I'm brazenly not.

Personal challenge - have sex outside at least once this summer. Not sure when, where or how, but I will make this happen. Damn the mosquitos.

2) So there is yet another munch this Saturday and I as usual am waffling on whether to go or not. For once, it's landing on a kid-free weekend, and they've changed the venue to a spot in Northampton that does fairly acceptable buffet for cheap, so there go my usual excuses to not go. I really ought to get off my ass and do this - I've got nothing else going on. Feh.

3) Kittyboy was home sick from work yesterday. You would think having the company around while I did my usual I'm Home And Supposed To Be Working thing would be distracting but it really wasn't... well, except for the bit where he strode into my line of vision in the altogether with an erection and made the "you wanna?" face at me. *sigh* another thing about summer. Open windows. And I know very well from listening to other tenants around here that climactic howls carry very well out said open windows. I have a feeling there will be a lot of whimpering into pillows this summer.

* yeah I know it's a britishism but "knickers" is so much more playful and fun of a word than "panties" or "underpants."
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
hahaha completely forgot to keep crossposting the kinky meme over here. Will go back and fix soon.

Things continue apace here. I need to get back into the habit of posting teh sexytimes; I've been so out of it lately that I've just been all "fuck-it" about everything. Also made the decision to go friends only on my other journal... still don't know how to feel about that, but I find it funny that my boring day to day mundane life needs sheilding right now while my sex life is still out there for all of the interbutts to read. What am I but a study in contradictions?

Kittyboy and I continue to be good. Was rather charmed by how he dropped hints towards the end of his workday yesterday that I shouldn't be wearing pants when he got home. He doesn't normally do that, but when he does, it's hot. So weird how I like nice guys with carefully hidden monsters within. :) I did mean to post a smirk and swagger post about how I managed to get him off purely via oral a couple weeks back, but didn't get around to it. The smirk, it was prodigious, let me tell you. Been dating the boy how long? and that's the first time I've ever pulled that off.

...Perhaps "pulled that off" is not the right term to use here.

Kinda mad that the next discussion munch is on Thursday which conflicts with D&D. Why yes, I am a huge ass nerd, what of that? It's funny because I probably would have wussed out of going anyway? but the fact that I cant at all anyway pisses me off. Again, welcome to me.

I got put on Wellbutrin a few weeks ago, and though everyone swears up and down that it wouldn't touch my sex drive/function I was nevertheless rather paranoid about it anyway. Other than it taking a bit longer for me to get from 0 to 80, I happily report no problems there. The only other thing I've noticed is that it's a little easier to overstimulate me both sexually and socially, but I'm managing this. The main point is that there's quite a bit less crushing depression/anxiety, so I would say overall that's a win.

I've struck up a conversation with a cute girl from Northampton over OKCupid who went to Smith as well. I don't really expect much to come of it but since this particular exchange has gone on longer than the usual three messages (which implies she's read my profile and hasn't run screaming from my polykink weirdness) I'm cautiously hopeful. At the very least, I may have a new friend/movie buddy, which is still a gain. More as that develops?

Not really much else to report in the life of Ms. Kitty...

Red Pills

Apr. 29th, 2011 09:07 am
switchkitty78: (Default)
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?

-- the matrix

Hm, you know, I think it's been long enough that I could watch that movie again. Possibly also the sequels, just to see if they were as bad as I remember. :)

alternate headspace )

all 30 days )
switchkitty78: (Default)
- You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
- And me.
- And me too.
- And me.
- Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
- And after the spanking, the oral sex.
- Well, I could stay a bit longer...

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Make sure you have proper ceiling clearance if you're going to do silly tricks with your flogger. )

all 30 days )
switchkitty78: (Default)
"Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Hmm? Grown men with hairly legs prancing around half naked? 'We're bears.' What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

-- A Dirty Shame

Ethics. I can has sometimes. )

all 30 days )
switchkitty78: (Default)
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

--Mae West

Day 6 )

Day 7 )

Day 8 )

Day 9 )

all 30 days )

4 and 5

Apr. 21st, 2011 08:39 pm
switchkitty78: (Default)
"I know I seem a little bit on the kinky side, but deep down I'm a sensitive and vulnerable girl. Don't let my dildoes, vibrators and handcuffs fool you."

-- Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I was a very bored little girl. )

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

There really isn't anything cuter than a couple of girls buying their first sex toy. Really. )

all 30 days )
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