FFF?

Nov. 19th, 2012 11:24 am
switchkitty78: (collar)
So Kittyboy and I have PAXEast passes. Problem is that we don't have hotel accomodations lined up yet and all the stuff near the con hall is a) $$$ b) probably booked up already by now. More importantly, due to various states of unemployment and financial strappage, it looks like none of the usual suspects are going this time around, which sucks but is understandable. Not like there won't be one the year after that. So he and I have been discussing selling our passes and using the money for something else. And the following fell out of his mouth last night:

"Maybe we could go to Providence for that spanky kink con you're always talking about?"

*blink* What?

Don't get me wrong, holy shit yes, I'd go to the Flea in a heartbeat. Bonus going with my husband! But... I don't know, I have concerns. Other than briefly flirting with kink in the beginning of the relationship and some occasional "I'm gonna tie you up and HURT you." "Okay fine, bring it" play, it's been a reasonably vanilla relationship. And he's got Opinions on kink, specifically on the sort that extends outside of bedroom and sexytimes.

Regardless of all that, the main problem is me. I tend to be the sort that will happily venture along on other peoples adventures into various interests, finding things that interest me along the way at best, finding ways to self-entertain at worst. But when it comes to my own stuff, I'm VERY uncomfortable inviting anyone to go/participate with me, especially if it's an out-there sort of interest (kink counts, but so could experimental French cinema) or a narrowly focused one (beadwork). Half of me goes into defensive mode ("It's not FOR you!") in case the other person doesn't like, is bored by or is derisive of it. The other half gets so wrapped up in whether the other person is enjoying themselves that I fail to enjoy myself, thus nullifying the entire point of the exercise. Which is why I end up doing a lot of things on my own and more or less successfully convincing myself that I really prefer it that way, or just... not doing things period, because lets be fair, company is usually advantageous in these sorts of endeavors.

He did offer, though. That's something. 'Course... I don't know. I hate being humored. Or rather I don't hate it per se, but I hate being constantly aware that someone's coming along for the ride not because of any personal interest of theirs, but because it's important to me. Even though that's something I do all the damn time.

So yeah argh. It's early yet, and it's only been floated as a possibility - FFF is it's own kind of pricey and I told myself after the last one that I wasn't gonna go unless I had at least a few spare C notes to spend (doubtful that I will by February). And I know I'm overthinking it a LOT and I should just go and have a good time and not worry so much about my proposed company. Still the weird level of angst is there and I had to pour it out somewhere.

ka-pow.

Mar. 5th, 2012 03:12 pm
switchkitty78: (ravished)
I suspected as much, but last night confirmed that I do indeed like my face slapped during sex. A lot. A very whole lot.
switchkitty78: (Milady's marque)
Kittyboy must love me. Last night after dinner he said something about feeling horny and adventurous. To shreds, you say. He must have read something in my face in return because he asked what I had in mind. I tried to demurr with "ehh, you wouldn't like it," but he was all "No, seriously, what?" so I confessed that I've been itching to hurt someone lately. Without batting any of his sickeningly pretty eyelashes his answer was "All right. Let's do this."

For all I that I love tying him up and doing evil things to him, I don't do it near often enough. Once every six months or so. I should really work on fixing that because it's so much fun to tie him up and make him squirm, and it don't hurt none that if you look at him too hard his skin puffs up into these welts that are not only pretty, but fun to pinch afterwards. Also I think if I got more of a chance to do things (and a little more warning in which to plan stuff) I'd work out some of the shyness I still have surrounding my more sadistic tendencies, I could still feel myself holding back a LOT, and I know he can take a lot more than I was giving him last night. 'Course it doesn't help that I still have a lot of paralyzing shyness about wanting/needing this, so asking for it is still something of a problem for me.

Still, last night did have excellent bits. A few things of note that worked beautifully well that I must keep in mind for later:

  • Engagement rings with a raised setting make a fantastic scratching/cutting implement. Also has the "something you gave me coming back to bite you" element to it, which makes me all kinds of giggle.

  • Tying people up the wrong way round on a bed (as in head towards the foot of the bed) is disorienting.

  • Related to the above, depending on how you chain your bottom's hands, that gives you a whole other fun element to play with. In an unusually inspired moment as I was gleefully dribbling candle wax over Kittyboy's clamped nipples and chest I straddled the footboard of the bed and his hand so he could finger me at the same time, and the crazier he drove me the nastier I got with the wax until he gasped he couldn't take too much more, and I told him that if he made me cum I'd stop. Lucky for him, I was ye close anyway.


So yeah, goodness knows when we'll get up to that level of shenanigans again, but last night was quite with the lovely. But yes, I do need to let my giggling little sadist out to play more often. With a few less leashes, maybe.

Le sigh

Jan. 31st, 2012 11:08 am
switchkitty78: (Default)
Was kind of waffling on attending the WMPE get together tomorrow night, as I always do when a local scene event is looming. On one hand I really do want to get back into local scene stuff, meet new people and whatnot. On the other hand, after work these days all I want to do is go home and collapse. Not to mention I have bell practice right around meeting time. And I don't want to go all the way to chicopee. And the Hu Ke Lau is expensive, if I actually want food. There's also the bit where I don't want to go by myself, but no one else is free/wants to go. Also also I know a lot of the people in the local scene and part of me is balking at wading into that nest of drama, but I do not want to drive out to hartford or Boston Metro or Albany or even back home to NY for any of this.

Well. I guess I could just wait and go to the closer TNG much in a couple weeks. Course, all of the above issues will still apply. *grump* damn it, it should not be this hard to get my kink on. Stupid shyness/lazy/lack of transportation/lack of money/incestuous Valley.
switchkitty78: (Milady's marque)
Man, this is the sort of day where I wish the Court of Night Blooming Flowers were real - I could really use a trip to Valerian House right about now. Not that I'd be able to afford it. *grumble* But yeah, I really want to cane someone into a crying purple mess, and I really really shouldn't because with the mood I'm in I'm rather past caring about the other person's potential enjoyment of this activity. Not exactly a mind set conducive to Safe Sane and Consensual.

It'll pass by the time I get home tomorrow. It always does. But right now I'm just going to dig my fingernails into my palms, grit my teeth, eat some leftover steak and ride it out until the beast goes back to sleep.
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
Aw, missed steak and BJ day this year. Yes, I'm actually sad about that. Red meat and oral sex sound like a perfect day to me.

For a lark and after a tangentially related conversation with KB, I reread Kushiel's Dart. This did nothing for my desire to beat someone bruisy. Neither is the fact that I found my 18" wooden ruler last night.

Last night after fucking my ass sweet and slow, Kittyboy mischievously pointed out that he always fists me when I come home from NY. "Just giving you something to look forward to." Damn him.

No progress made on venturing forth to wmpe events. We'll see about the main wmpetng munch.

I'm sure I have to wait in a line that wraps around the country several times, but I have this insane desire to do wonderfully awful things to Rachel Maddow in a significant state of undress. Painfully intelligent dark haired/dark eyed women kinda make me weak in the knees.

I really really REALLY need a new Wahl coil. And some drip candles. And Slippery stuff. And maybe one of those rock and roll vibes that light up. It'd be like Studio 54 all up in my junk. And a celebrator. And one (okay two) of these floggers. Sigh. One of these days I will have a toy budget again. One of these days.
switchkitty78: (Milady's marque)
All anniversaries should at some point involve rope, cable ties, tea, candle wax, slow head and slowly teasing your tied-up lover until they are shaking with how much they want to fuck you. Just saying.
switchkitty78: (Milady's marque)
I had a rare moment this morning during half-awake shenanigans where the sleepies inhibited the shys just enough to permit a Snarly Top Moment wherein I grabbed Kittyboy by the hair and whisper/growled "Whose are you?" into his ear.

The word "yours" has never sounded so sexy.

Damn, I see what y'all get out of this now. *smirk*
switchkitty78: (collar)
Note to self - locate the scissors before you do something silly like bind your own wrists together with cable ties.

Yes I found the scissors, but I had an "oh shit" couple of minutes. XD As I said to Kittyboy on IM just now, at least I didn't have anything on the stove.

Amusingly enough, this dredged up a memory of getting caught by my mother while trying to frantically untie myself from a kiddie chair when I was about four or five. *chuckle* I guess some things haven't changed much.
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
I'll post a bit more... at length... about the end of Kittyboy's drunken toddler birthday party last night, because it ended on a good, if a bit of a hard left in terms of direction. One that involved me, several of the gang that stayed late who happen to be in the kinky persuasion, and Kittyboy getting spanked, caned, swatted and spanked with various toys. No one lost their clothes or anything. but note to self, if I have another party, I should clean up one of the upstairs rooms just in case more space is needed for swinging nasty things at willing people. :)

I might add that Kittyboy is still having some trouble sitting down after lil'bunny's Sir walloped him with one of his nastier implements. I'm inordinately amused by this. He just keeps wandering around the house with a wtf expression, rubbing his butt and going "ow." It's cute as hell.

More happened, but I'm still rolling it in my head a bit and not ready to post. Nothing major or bad, just... whoa. :)


After the party was kinda amazing as well. Needless to say I didn't get too much sleep last night. :) There may have been some #slowhead involved... (masteradept you'd best be laughing). But more on that later as well, maybe.
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
While reorganizing my toy/book cabinet, I ran across the capzaicin applicator I'd gotten ages ago but tested maybe once before. (It's usually sold next to the icy/hot - in fact, they're put out by the same company.) In the spirit of "always try something on yourself before you play with it on other people" I put a stripe of it behind both my knees and went about my evening.

...Jesus Christ. I'm now wondering if I tested it at all because I'd remember this. Either that or I didn't apply very much before, or to a less sensitive area or it's concentrated in potency or something in the while or so since I bought it, but goddamn. Pretty much nothing much happened for the first ten or so minutes other than a light tingling that could be chalked up to the stuff drying. And then it starts burning. And then it starts burning worse. And by that time it's absorbed into the skin so you either have to ice it down or grit your teeth and ride it out, and I'd of course stuck it on the backs of my knees so bending them or sitting down with the edges of seats digging into them (I was wearing shorts yesterday) was fairly torturous for a good six hours or so.

Further tests are needed however, as my left knee reacted far worse than my right to the point where the area of application actually turned red, got warm, and welted up as if I'd gotten caned. The right knee, while it still hurt, didn't react nearly as dramatically, so I'm wondering if I'd rubbed it accidentally into a raw spot, if I'm allergic to it, or this is par for the course. I'm guessing not the latter as most non-pervy people buy this stuff to relieve pain, not cause it. But after round one, my conclusion is to mark this stuff "FOR SEVERE PUNISHMENT ONLY." Either that or use as a lazy, painless (for you, not your bottom) shortcut for getting that "I'ma tan yer hide!" sensation.

TL;DR - yeowch!
switchkitty78: (Kitty)
Hey [livejournal.com profile] little_kit, do you have a long lost cousin? ;) There was a adorable young lady on collarme.com that reminded me of you, so I shot her a message. Pretty sure nothing's gonna come of it, but nothing ventured, right?

In other news, I don't know what it is about French bowlines, but it seems precisely how to do them slides out of my memory like a well greased... well. Anything. Much like how to tie half-Windsors. Something about knots and trying to remember how they go never seems to stick. Nothing for it but to practice, eh?

Also Kittyboy and I MIGHT be going to Home Depot later. Or as I like to put it, "The Grown-up Toy Store." Granted I won't really be getting anything majorly fun (I think I've decided mostly to get hooks and price organizer type thingies), but a gal can look at the chain and rope and zipties and brackets and D rings and s-hooks and dream wicked dreams, can't she?

I've ended every paragraph in this entry on a wistful question mark. That is a thing.
switchkitty78: (collar)
I ran across this wandering around Fetlife this evening.

Train the trainer

Interesting read. I don't have a whole lot of commentary, it just caught my attention.
switchkitty78: (collar)
I'm not generally a big jewelry person, but while poking through a Signals catalog this morning, this caught my eye and I subsequently caught my breath.

Heart Padlock Locket

Oh my. I could say a whole lot of stuff about what seeing this necklace conjured up, but I won't, I'll just leave it at "...GUH." I post it here in case anyone reading this knows a Dom(me), Mistress or Master in the market for something pretty for their slaves/submissives. Or really anyone who has laid claim to someones heart and wants them to wear a reminder of that over said claimed heart.

D'oh

Sep. 28th, 2010 03:55 pm
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
..One of these days when I dress up in my best little schoolgirl outfit I'm going to remember to get someone to take pictures BEFORE I'm pretty much ravished out of it. One of these days. Cause y'all know I'm a devotee of the pics or it didn't happen school of internet thought.

Also dressing up like that before Kittyboy comes home after a weekend away? well worth it for the look on his face when he first comes upstairs. There might have been a little scraping of jaw from floor necessitated.

I don't really like my plaid skirt though, mostly since my ass sticks out so much (weight loss for some reason exacerbates the natural bustle issue like whoa) so that the skirt doesn't hang evenly - pretty much it looks fine in the front, but rides up so much in the back that you can totally see the curve of my ass peeking out from under it. For some nefarious purposes this is fine, but I'd like something I can wear in public someday without instantly betraying to the world that I haven't bothered with the obligatory white cotton knickers.


In other news, I've noticed that Kittyboy seems to really like getting me off... it's fun listening to his breathing change when he can feel me cumming around his fingers. And there was a lot of fingers jammed up there last night, both in number of fingers and number of times. No, that was not a complaint.


In other other news, [livejournal.com profile] daddys_kitten_ posted about playing with this stuff and I'm VERY intrigued (and a little scared) by her experiences with it. Between the biting and one particularly memorable swat with an egyptian flail yesterday which caught me in the kittyspot (think where you would scratch a cat to make them go all elevator butt) its reminding me that it's been a while since I've had some medium to heavy pain play, both on the receiving and the giving end and now my head is full of nefariously terrible ideas. I'll let y'all know if anything develops in that direction...
switchkitty78: (purple ass)
I swear, since about five o'clock Sunday I've been masturbating more or less constantly. Well, okay, not at work, lol. And for all I know, not while asleep, though my dreams have been blue to the point of indigo lately. But yeah, it seems like I'm on a must-get-off-every-hour-and-a-half jag while I'm home. My clit is a little on the raw side from all the constant stimulation and since it's been hot as all fuck this sort of activity comes with the charming side effect of opening my eyes to steamed over glasses afterwards.

It's not even that I'm particularly horny either. I guess lately I need the escape time into the twisted fantasyland my head becomes when I'm playing with myself. And lately I've been stressed and frustrated enough to the point where having an orgasm every 90 or so minutes is just barely keeping the edge off. But at the rate I'm going, I'm going to melt through my vibrator cord.

I probably should post something about how Kittyboy tied me face down to my bed and did terrible things to my ass and clit for a lovely long and quite frankly steamy hour on Saturday, but I don't have the words, and it's crawling back up to 90 minutes again...
switchkitty78: (leather)
Happy Mother's Day, you filthy fabulous folk!

I seem to be having one of those spells where I'm not feeling the sexxy much, at least, not enough to post about it, lol. Of late, this is directly because I had my cervix biopsied last Tuesday (ow ow ow) and my girlbits are still mad about it and probably will be for a little while. Le sad. Also ebbing and flowing is my interest in kink. There's rumors of local scene drama I'm rather avoiding like the plague, and for various other reasons (mostly financial, some having to do with my own headnoise towards the topic) I'm simply not feeling it right now. Though I did have an interesting idea cross my mind a few minutes ago that I wanted to get down.

I'm sure something like this exists out there... is there, in fact, a mentoring program out there for curious Maybe?Dominants? I have been told time and again that the best way to learn is by subbing... There is a lot of merit to that statement, I think, as in my experience Doms who know what the other side of the whip is like tend to be way more compassionate and plugged into the sub's experience, but of course your mileage may vary on that. However, I've been that route a few times, and while I did learn quite a bit, my attention span isn't the best when I'm focused on other things, like being a good girl. :) What I'm kind of casually wondering is if there's something out there or if people would be willing to have not a sub, but a Domme-in-training follow them around and take notes, so to speak. I had the opportunity to do that way ass long ago, and honestly I think I absorbed a lot more via observation (with some limited participation). I suppose I could just head down to the Society one evening and observe others in the space, but I don't want to be the creepy n00b sitting and staring at everyone else, lol. I suppose I could nullify that some by putting my name up on the board... still, lol.

I don't know, it's a thought... maybe when the so called drama dies out I'll repost the above idea to the WMPE boards and see if anyone else likes this idea. Also I keep wanting to reconnect up with Master Harley, since I haven't seen him in years and we keep sending messages to each other via The Badger. He's expressed an interest in maybe doing coffee sometime, and having read and liked his boy-training manual, I'd love the opportunity to discuss it with him in person.
switchkitty78: (collar)
It occurred to me that I'd forgotten how to do a french bowline knot this evening. It's been about a year and a half since I've had any occasion to use one. So I spent an hour or so re-teaching myself how, using my ankles.

anyway, the combination of the blue cover, burgundy corduroy, purple toenails and green cord looked pretty enough that I took a picture.

switchkitty78: (collar)
Man at this rate I'm going to have to hand in my antisocial card, lol.

I got a message from Ms.V. at the tail end of my working asking if I wanted to go to the main WMPE discussion munch in Chicopee with her. After thinking about it for a few I was all sure, what the hell why not, right?

I was glad I did. There were some familiar faces from the Saturday munch present, and the presentation on 1920-1930s "dirty books" was intriguing and interesting. And one of the Dommes brought in a birthday cake for her submissive and shared. Apparently said sub asked to not have a vanilla cake at a fetish event (hurr hurr) so we got a chocolate cake with mousse frosting. Oh my, so yummy.

Honestly kinda left me in the mood to go home and write some filthy stories because of something the presenter said about how the focus in BDSM literature is still on older works, like The Story of O and the Sleeping Beauty books. Course by the time I came home afterward I was so exhausted that it was pretty much all I could do to shower up and toddle over to Kittyboy's so I could collapse into his bed and arms... and we both ended up oversleeping this morning, lol.

I'm toying with the idea of getting a WMPE membership, but am still sorta undecided about it. The main attraction for me right now is that they're setting up a partnership with some area businesses so that if youre a WMPE member you get discounts on stuff, kinda like triple A only kinky. But I'm not sure if I'd be actively participating in the local scene or just tagging along to the occasional eat 'n' schmooze like I'm doing now. I don't know I feel like if I sign up I ought to be contributing somehow, and I'm not sure if I have the inclination to do so or the space in my schedule. Not to mention the gas money to go running up and down 91 between home and The Society. So... waffling there. I suppose there's no harm in seeing how the next couple months go socially and join up later on this year if I still feel like it and make enough new friends in the process.
switchkitty78: (full moon)
I did end up going to the WMPETNG munch on Saturday! Go me for summoning the courage. My Fetlife friends list jumped by like 25%, I swear, lol. But yeah, it was good. Packed house and chaos, due to it being the first one and organizational kinks (shut up) needed working out, but the important thing was that the turnout was fabulous and people are looking forward to the next one. Me, I made some friends and found an old acquaintance, and had a very enjoyable evening in the company of hilarious, geeky people.

Kittyboy's question last night of "so why do the girls you find cute all look like imoto-chan?" has been bugging me for some reason. I apparently run to type with women more than men: tall curvy redheads (natural or bottled irrelevant) do tend to instantly get my attention, whereas generally women that fall outside of this type tend to have to work at it a little more to show up on my radar. I think it's bugging me because I hadn't actually realized I was running to type, and also considering the last couple of tall curvy redheads to occupy a fair amount of my attention... yeah. I don't know. There's nothing wrong with having a preference, but I always get a little grumpy when caught in one of my predictable little patterns. Meh.

In slightly less annoying Kittyboy question news, he asked the other day if there was something we hadn't done yet that I'd like to do, and after getting over my usual flustered after being asked a direct question out of left field, I mentioned that he hasn't tied me up yet. Man, it's been years and now that its out there I can't stop thinking about it, lol. Ah well, this is why I have several insane lengths of green cord kicking around after all. :)
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