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Learning experiences
Nov. 9th, 2009 03:04 pm1) It's been long enough since I've struck Kittyboy with anything that I'd forgotten how very little it takes for him to welt up. Also old fashioned 18 inch wooden rulers... I see why they terrify the life out of catholic schoolchildren. Going to have to take very good care of the one I inherited. >:)
2) It doesn't seem to matter whether I'm topping or bottoming, I always seem to end a scene.... raw, for lack of a better word. Not just physically hypersensitive, but all the walls crumble down and things affect me more for a time after that. It's a little scary when that happens, honestly... and it feels I imagine similar to being actually naked somewhere publicly without quite knowing where your clothes are, except on an emotional level. Not sure what that's all about, or what I actually need when I get to that state or if it's even a bad thing. I'm pretty sure I know what triggered it last night, but am not sure how to quite deal with it if it comes up again.
3) Somewhat related to the above, I currently sit being surprised at how incredibly hurt I'm feeling over something I just found out a few minutes ago... and once again, fully aware of why you should never play when you aren't quite in control of your emotional state, cause right now I just want to shred flesh without any regard to limits or well being.... which is not okay. Time to put the toys away until I'm back where I need to be.
ETA: no, Kittyboy, #3 has nothing to do with you.
2) It doesn't seem to matter whether I'm topping or bottoming, I always seem to end a scene.... raw, for lack of a better word. Not just physically hypersensitive, but all the walls crumble down and things affect me more for a time after that. It's a little scary when that happens, honestly... and it feels I imagine similar to being actually naked somewhere publicly without quite knowing where your clothes are, except on an emotional level. Not sure what that's all about, or what I actually need when I get to that state or if it's even a bad thing. I'm pretty sure I know what triggered it last night, but am not sure how to quite deal with it if it comes up again.
3) Somewhat related to the above, I currently sit being surprised at how incredibly hurt I'm feeling over something I just found out a few minutes ago... and once again, fully aware of why you should never play when you aren't quite in control of your emotional state, cause right now I just want to shred flesh without any regard to limits or well being.... which is not okay. Time to put the toys away until I'm back where I need to be.
ETA: no, Kittyboy, #3 has nothing to do with you.
